Suicide and Me
Updated: Oct 5, 2018
TRIGGER WARNING This blog contains information about Suicide and Suicidal ideation and it contains information and a personal account that may be triggering to survivors or people currently in crisis. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
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Suicide is not unique. It’s a pair of Ugg’s at this point. It's an iPod, a flip phone, trucker hats, and Myspace.
It is a public health issue. A social contagion.
And, unfortunately it is on the rise. That is not to say it is not complex, there are many, many contributing factors to this horrible trend.
Suicide however should not be a normal reaction to common mental/emotional health issues and daily stressor's.
Suicide is not an answer, however, like 24.2% of 12th graders in Bonneville County last year, the thought was always on my mind.
And, like 18.5% of 10th graders in Bonneville County last year, I not only thought about it, I had an actual plan.
Eventually like 4.8% of 8th graders and 6.8% of 10th graders in Bonneville County last year, I attempted suicide.
And, seemingly like everything else I did up until then, my attempt failed.
However, I succeeded in finding clarity.
Suddenly my mental health struggles were not a secret, and resources that had always been there, were obvious even to me.
Although I didn’t have the answer to my mental health problems, I knew that I was not unique in having them, and that suicide was not the answer.
I believe the meaning of life is actually a question, and that without being alive, I would never be able to answer it.
Instead of considering suicide, I consider doing new things I have never done before.
Instead of having a suicide plan, I have a crisis plan, a life plan.
Instead of attempting suicide, I attempt to live, no matter how hard it seems at times.
I realized that making the wrong decisions in life has always been the easy way out. Fighting to get RIGHT is hard, and each joyful moment even if they are far and few between are worth that fight.
My name is Nathan Croston